His Angel
by Obsessive Kitten
Summary: Songfic. Cloud leaves Tifa behind, and she takes it hard. [Rated for suggested events. Nothing sexual or otherwise inappropriate.]


[Disclaimer: I don't own any of Final Fantasy VII or anything like that. Nor do I own the song, which is Evanescence: My Immortal. So please, no lawsuits, kay?] * * = Lyrics of the song  
  
*I'm so tired of being here  
  
Suppressed by all my childish fears*  
  
Two years had passed since the final battle with the silver-haired one, Sephiroth. All of the 'heroes' had tried to pick up the pieces of their lives and carry on. Cid returned, of course, to Rocket Town; Yuffie to Wutai; Nanaki to Cosmo Canyon; Barrett to help restore the shattered Midgar; Vincent to god knows where; and Cloud and Tifa to Nibelheim. Together. Tifa was elated, and she knew she shouldn't feel this way, because the only reason she was in that position was because Aeris had died, but she did. She felt that her life was finally coming together, and that maybe Cloud could forget how much he'd loved the Cetra angel.  
  
But do things every really work out like they should? Tifa sat alone on her bed, her nightclothes still on. Silvery trails of tears glistened on her cheeks. A crumpled piece of paper lay on the floor, partially covered by her bare foot. Her body was exhausted from crying so heavily, but her mind was reeling. "What have I done?" She asked herself. "Why couldn't he stay, here," She broke, and more tears ebbed over the brim of her eyes, falling rapidly down her cheeks. "With me?"  
  
*And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave  
  
Cause your presence still lingers here  
  
And it won't leave me alone*  
  
She stomped on the wretched paper once more in haste before picking it up and carefully unfolding it. Her eyes poured over the letter once more, praying she had misread it, that her tears were for nothing. That he wasn't really gone, but he was coming back. He had to come back.  
  
~Dear Tifa,  
  
I'm sorry. In advance, I'm sorry. For everything I've put you through, and everything you've done for me. All the time you've wasted taking care of me, wanting over me, loving me. I'm sorry that it ever happened. I'm sorry that I ever led you to believe that I could ever forget Aeris. You are my best, greatest friend. And yes, I know, you think we should be more, but we can't. It could never happen. I do love you Tifa, please don't think that I don't, but not the way that I know you want me to. Not the way that your eyes plead me for every time you look at me. Believe me, there's nothing more I want than to hold you in my arms, tell you that I love you, more than anything on earth. But I can't. My heart won't let me. Every time we'd kiss, I'd think about Aeris' lips, not yours. I think about how much I miss her, and how much she meant to me. I know that she's gone, but I can't forget her. No matter how hard I have tried to shut her out of my mind, I can't. Tifa, please don't hate me. Please, tell me that you will still respect me and be the friend that I know you are. Right now, Tifa, you mean more to me than anyone. But I have to go. I have to sort things out in my mind; I have to figure out who I am; what I want; who I want. Please forgive me. I'm not sure if I'll ever see you again, but just know, I carry a picture of you in my pocket, to remind me of the greatest friendship I could ever have been given. I'm sorry I couldn't have been more. I'm sorry that I'm not who you thought I was. Goodbye, Tifa Lockhart.  
  
Cloud~  
  
*These wounds won't seem to heal; this pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase*  
  
"Cloud Strife! You LIAR!" She shrieked, balling up the paper, again throwing it to the floor. She flung herself back on her bed, and she snatched her pillow over her head to hide her sobs, but who was there to hear them? She was alone; she had steadily come to that conclusion. She was alone, and she would always be alone. After all, if Cloud wouldn't love her, who would?  
  
*When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
  
And you still have all of me*  
  
She felt herself drift into dreams of her past with Cloud. The Lifestream, the Highwind, and the final battle with Sephiroth all floated across her mind as she slept. Finally she relived the night they had made the promise, the night that Cloud had promised to save her. The moonlight caught Cloud's blonde hair perfectly, and she could tell even at twelve that he would be a very handsome man. She remembered his reluctance to promise to save her, but in the end he promised. And he kept that promise. She woke slowly, peeking one eye open and then the other. She thought that perhaps it was all a dream until she was the god-forsaken paper lying on the floor in front of her. She was then popped back into reality. "Oh Cloud," She moaned from weariness. She looked at the clock. 5:26 PM.  
  
*You used to captivate me by your resonating mind  
  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
  
You face it haunts  
  
My once pleasant dreams  
  
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me*  
  
She had gotten out of bed and dressed herself in a daze. She still was in disbelief. 'Nothing would make Cloud leave me, he said so himself, just a few weeks ago. He said.' her train of thought stuttered, and then her voice took her over. "He said he loved me!" She collapsed to the wooden floor of her bedroom, pressing her palms flat to the floor. "Gods, why? What did I do to him?" Tifa screamed into the solitude of the room  
  
'Or didn't do' she thought. "I wasn't Aeris. I wasn't what he wanted." She seemed to have calmed herself down. She had stopped crying; and had dried her face. Rage burned now in her ruby eyes. The normally deep cherry that filled the pools was replaced by bright red. After standing abruptly, she stormed down the stairs and to the front door. She climbed the mountains of Nibel, taking the same trail that she had so many times before. The same as on that fateful day when her father died, and Nibelheim had been burned to the ground. "Nibelheim. Cloud and I, we rebuilt Nibelheim." She whispered, afraid that if she spoke his name any louder she would break again. "Together." She closed her eyes tightly as her body found one more tear to give, to give to her memory of him.  
  
*These wounds won't seem to heal; this pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
I've held your hand through all of these years  
  
And you still have all of me*  
  
She reached her destination, the mako reactor, the same one that she'd brought Sephiroth and Cloud to, the same one that she'd seen her father die in. She pressed her hand to her chest, and she felt her heart throb with the ache of Cloud's memory. She also felt her skin burn as she remembered Sephiroth's blade slicing her skin deeply. She remembered the awful crack as she fell down the stairs. And then was warmth, then was comfort. Then, there was Cloud. She remembered him picking her up in his strong arms and carrying her to safety. She even remembered him charging off to fight Sephiroth, and then she had blacked out. "Ohhh, Cloud. Why? Why did you leave me?! I loved you so much!" She fell to her knees, the rocky ground cutting into her skin. But she was beyond pain. She was beyond anguish. All she felt now was a lingering feeling of emptiness.  
  
*I've tried to tell myself that you're gone  
  
But though you're still with me  
  
I've been alone all along*  
  
She stood, her eyes dry. She sniffed, though there was really no point in it. Her feet dragged across the rocky earth, slowly taking her to her final destination. She looked ahead; the sun had just crept under the horizon. Now, she would end it. She would feel no more pain. "Cloud Strife, I lived for you. And now. I'LL DIE FOR YOU!!" She screamed as she broke out in a sprint. Before she knew it, she had reached the side of the mountain's trail, and leapt off, her eyes closed. She spread her arms, and let the wind flow over and through her. The wind ran through her hair, untying the leather strap that had for so long held it. She felt free. And then, it was all over. Her pain was gone.  
  
The stars came out over the blonde man's head, and he stopped his trek to look up upon them. He saw a shooting star, burning brightly as it raced across the sky, and then out of his vision. He dropped his pack, and turned his head upward completely. "Well, you know what they say when you see a shooting star," he said to himself with a smile. "An angel has just died." He took out the photo of Tifa. "Did you see that, Teefs? Just like when we were kids, on that well." He tucked the photo of the smiling brunette back into his pocket. "It was beautiful, wasn't it?" He bent over and picked up his pack of supplies, ready to start again on his journey to resurrect Aeris. If only he'd known that the now dead angel was his, Tifa.  
  
*When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
And you still have all of me*  
  
[Yeah, I know. Sadness. Well, please review, and I'm sorry if you don't like it or something. Bye-bye] 


End file.
